Week 19 Predictions

"Know your role and shut your mouth!"
- Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (and what my team-mates, captains, coaches, and possibly coordinators think when I open my mouth)

While making my foolish picks last week, I missed out on using last weekend's Wrestlemania XXV as a theme. In retrospect, I feel like a total jabroni. Below are my wrestling inspired picks for this week. If you don't like the picks, I got but two words for you...(they rhyme with "huck it")...

Kiddies over 2x12s by submission

Rumor has it that IID's heavyweight champion of handling was held up by his adoring fans on the way to FCS last week, thus thwarting Corn's chance of topping Ocho. If he can make it to the game on time, and because team manager Bo saves energy when he signs his efficient autographs, expect Corn to pummel 2x12s into submission. True wrasslin fans know that 2x12s deserve to lose, for not choosing the superior name "24 Inch Pythons".

Ocho to piledrive Army

Ocho, managed by the intermediate version of Bobby "The Brayn" Heenan, will pull out the win over Army, even if their captain Morthongs has to throw salt in Downtown Monty Brown's eyes. Wednesday night's version of Steph and Triple HHH, Mr & Mrs Bush will do all they can in a losing effort, stopping short of pulling out a sledge hammer and taking care of business. For the ladies in attendance, count on Grey Laysout to perform his infamous 5-minute flexing routine to celeberate the win.

Hammers to pin Grey

"Let me tell you something mean Ginn(e) - That junoir Pyper you have on your roster is bad news! Although he grew a little since last year, the fact he's so skinny proves that he hasn't been saying his prayers, taking his vitamins, and working on his huck. And another thing, with her firey red hair, Deefense can Waite reminds me the Fabulous Moolah...a real she-devil! So let me ask you something Grey - Whatcha gonna do when the wrath and fury of the 24-handed Hammers run wild on you?!?!"

Threezerburn to bodyslam Cup in the main event

Can the Mikey Wimpreck-like fairy tail of Cup continue against the mighty Threezies? Since the good guy always wins in the last match of the evening, and because Chow is the IID "Prototype" (selling all the Navy t-shirts and ulty e-zines), the odds are stacked against the Cuppies. Furthermore, I wouldn't put it past Prouxl to sunset flip Hello Jessie for retribution before exclaiming "I flipped that bitch." One can only hope everyone's favorite referree Mahatma sticks around to avert full out battle royale...

Predicted Quote of the Week:
Because your Sable impression always cracks me up...
"All the men want to see me, and the women want to be me."

Since it's a wrestling themed night, blood shed is inevitable. If it hasn't happenned by the third game, not to worry, instead of blading, I'll just lay out elbow first and get the red fountain flowing...for the 3rd week in a row. In words of the alter-ego (Cactus Jack) of my favorite wrestler (Dude Love), have a nice day!