Stylin' Frisbee Accessories

"Money, it's gotta be the shoes!"
Mars Blackman (aka Spike Lee) - from a series of memorable Nike commercials.

Every ultimate team has a fashion guru who sets the bar for other team members. These fashionistas are easy to pick out since they put more thought and effort into coordinating their wardrobe than the rest of their team-mates do combined. Although ultimate accessories won't make you a better player, they do make you look better while playing. What follows is a brief overview of ultimate accessories ranging from necessary, to functional, to superfluous.

Necessary

Cleats – Cleats form the basis of your entire ultimate wardrobe. A boring pair of black soccer cleats indicate you're uncreative and uninspired. On the other hand, a flashy pair of gold Nike Vapors, or Gaia G4's held together by flaming red duct-tape show you have game, and aren't afraid to let others know it!

Braces – Any "serious" ultimate player will rock at least one brace at any given time. Braces are an excellent way to draw attention to your battle scars, and at the same time give a false sense of security to unsuspecting opponents who overlook the hundreds of hours that you've inevitably spent rehabbing your injuries. Braces can be further snazzed up by adding colorful athletic tape to hold them in place, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Compression Shorts – After suffering my sports hernia, my physiotherapist recommended an obscenely expensive brand of compression shorts in order to enable me to continue to play. I was initially a little apprehensive about wearing compression shorts since I thought they'd limit my movement, but that apprehension went out the window during the mixed tryout process. I quickly noticed that the great majority of competitive ulty players in Ottawa don't leave home without compression shorts.

Orthotics - Also during the mixed tryout process, the number of players with orthotics / ankle braces / Superfeet became apparent to me. With the amount of pounding your feet take during a competitive ultimate tournament, keeping your tootsies happy is highly recommended.

Functional

Hats / Visors / Headbands / Bandanas – After considering adding headgear to the 'Necessary' category, I flopped and put it here only because it is possible to play ultimate without it…but I wouldn't recommend it. Not only does headgear keep the sun and sweat out of your eyes, it's a great chance to show others what kind of player you are through a stylish accessory. Although I'm relatively certain it's about to disintegrate, I shudder at the thought of how badly my "game" will fall off after my 'Undisputed World's Heavyweight Champion' hat goes onto hat heaven. For advice on visors, I recommend contacting the Scarlet ladies. If you need help with headbands, the Physbees men are your best bet. For bandanas, there's a guy that works at Treasury Board (David something) who can rock a bandana with the best of them.

Wristbands – Not only will wristbands help pull together your ultimate ensemble, they're quite functional to wipe the sweat off your hands, and to decrease the impact when people hack at your wrists when handling and receiving. Wristbands are most important for tall players (who get hacked frequently in league play). As for the choice of whether to wear one or two wristbands, it's a complicated personal decision that should be contemplated at great length.

Athletic Tape – Does something hurt on your body? (Dumb question, of course it does or you'd be a wimpy soccer player). Do you have $5 to blow in an attempt to make your pain decrease marginly? (Dumb question, of course you do or your team would have kicked you off for not contributing to the beer fund). If you've answered yes to both of these questions, consider buying a roll of colored athletic tape (white = boring) and searching the Internet for tips from some 14 year old kid with no medical training.

Socks – The number of league players who wear athletic socks from Wal-mart amazes me to no end. A week after Bryce Ring taught me how to cut properly, I had painful protusions of black skin all over my feet. The answer? A box of six pairs of Thorlo maximum protect every year. These also come in handy when someone plants off your foot…which happens almost weekly if you play enough.

Water Bottles – Also a borderline necessity, but if you're only playing one game, you can get away without drinking (if you don't mind passing out on the way home). Whether you throw caution to the wind and continue using a Nalgene, or shell out for a stainless steal bottle, the most important thing to keep in mind is that you MUST cover your bottle with stickers. Preferably ulty stickers, but other cool ones will do in a pinch.

Superfluous

Gloves – Self-respecting ultimate players don't let a little cold weather stop them, and see fall as an excellent season to show off their cold weather ultimate accessories. Although receiver gloves come in many interesting styles and colors, throwing with even the best fitting pair of gloves is damn near impossible. Don't be like OJ, scrap the gloves!
(*Disclaimer: This advice is given by a guy who owns four ill-fitting pairs of receiver gloves and uses them regularly when it's cold and/or wet)

Tights - Any former runners turned ulty players know the advantages of wearing tights in cool weather (they keep your muscles warm, and provide for excellent range of motion compared to warm-up pants), but did you know tights also help when playing on the "field turf" (term used loosely) at FCS, BFP, and the Thunderdome? Although superfluous for league play, tights become a necessity if you plan to lay out at all during winter indoor games.

Sunglasses – Perhaps a little anecdote from mixed tryouts will explain why sunglasses are considered superfluous.

Ahmad – First thing is first, take off the shades!
Me – Huh? Are you serious?
Ahmad – BigFish rule – no sunglasses!
Me – Oook…this better not be a joke.
Ahmad – Eye contact man, eye contact!

To summarize, sunglasses in league play are fine (actually, they're not, eye contact is important), but don't even think of wearing them on a comp team.

Field Flask – Another little anecdote for your reading enjoyment.

Me (after seeing a blue flask) – What the hell Pete? Is that some sort of mineral water you're bringing to games?
Pete – It's scotch. Want some?
Me – Like you'd bring scotch to a tournament. Scotch isn't blue.
Pete (slides off blue cover of clear flask, takes a slug) – Don't say I didn't offer it to you.

If you're an ulty player and / or heavy drinker, the field flask might be for you! Apparently they're readily available at camping outfitting stores and online.

Gaia Robe – The hottest fictional accessory on the OUHA message boards became non-fictional due to the printing / sewing / creative genius of one of my Fish team-mates. The best part about this is that I have photographic evidence of its existence (see my Facebook page)! Could a purple Gaia robe be far behind? Only time will tell… only time will tell.

A couple other points are worth mentioning:

1. When wondering about the color of your ultimate accessories, remember that your chances of winning are always best when wearing black (it's psychologically devastating for your opponents to see you wearing hot black garb). However, PURPLE trumps every other color (including black...but it's close). Therefore, the equation to remember is:
purple > black > red > blue > white (which is a color that only suckers will wear)

2. Coordinating your outfit so that one or two key colors match with all your accessories also increases your chances of winning. Although I have yet to see the perfectly matched and accessorized outfit, I'm holding out hope that someone will rock my socks off someday!

If you take the above advice under consideration, you could very well up as the best dressed player on your ultimate team. Even if you're not the most stylin' person on your team, you'd definitely earn my respect for taking a chance in the ulty wardorbe department. Until next time, happy hucking!