"Those who wish to appear wise among fools, among the wise seem foolish."
- Quintilian, De Institutione Oratoria
Fellow fools, allow me to present my unwise picks for week 18.
2x12s to crush the Army
Fresh off their second half domination of the Hammers last week, bet on Salmon's 12 to best Army who will come out shooting blanks. Expect forum frequenter Steve to display his flawless rules knowledge (demonstrated against UnMarkable Hardenup last week with a Mule-esque contest call on an obvious non-foul) to outmatch rules no-nothing RPA v 2.0 who is often overheard exclaiming "I mizzunderstood da rulez". For those ulty players with only one shiny nickel to bet, place it on Downtown Dave Brown not hucking the disc further than 10 yards.
Grey to outrun, outjump, and outlast Threezerburn
With four masters players on their roster, Grey will use their youthful legs and boundless energy to physically dominate the slackers and potbellies on Threeze. In a personal message to yours truly last week, Threezie Chow explained that his summer plans consisted of a measily four nights a week of league play, weight lifting, and limited cardio conditioning. He'll never make it on the cover of an ulty e-zine if he keeps up that pathetic excuse for training. Threezies' only chance at victory rests with their 'broken' striker who has been known to pick up older men from the sidelines.
4 Girls One Cup to use short passes in beating Hammers
"Big Simon" will use his famous short-game to lead his faithful followers past the happless, hopeless, happy-hucking Hammers. Count on the never-sarcastic Hilary Juff to remember his socks, and return the Thorlos to a downcast, dumper on the Hammers. The Hammers will be their usual lethargic selfs after following DGo's advice regarding consuming pre-game Big Macs and taking naps. Oh, and Hello Jessie will NOT have a unique celebration for every goal she catches.
Corny Kids to dismantle Ocho
Having fresh legs after a short day's work, Pistol Pete (who's not my handling idol) will run circles around the oldies on Ocho. Speaking of Ocho, how is it that a certain health-nut coordinator let a team be coached by an undedicated, unstrategic, unfit mentor? One would alsmost feel bad for Ocho if they didn't have the distinct privledge of always wearing red shirts (clearly a superiour shirt color to purple).
Quote of the Week:
The slow, clumsy, uncoordinated female wanna-be striker on Hammers.
"I'm sorry from dropping that easy pass guys. Have I mentioned that I hate playing for this team!"
Since I have tonnes of energy after an easy quarter end at work, I thought about rambling on the ultra-important urine steam flip. However, since I care so much about my critics and their opinions of the quality of my writing, I've decided to sign off. Until next time, depressed dumping!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Turfed
"Everything falls apart,
Then I get to try to put it back together
Everything falls apart,
And you can count on that like you can count on bad,
Bad weather again"
Dogs Eye View - Everything Falls Apart
It’s been a while since I wrote anything outside of predictions/recaps, but I experienced a situation that warranted a post. Plus, knowing that more talented players read these ramblings than I ever, I thought I could leverage your vast degree of ultimate knowledge.
The Situation:
The Hammers were rolling against 2x12s, up by 8 points with 20 minutes to go in the second half….when the wheels fell off. I’ll give 2x12s credit for taking advantage of our collapse, but it was OUR collapse. About half of our team has played competitive frisbee, there are lots of veterans (I’m probably the low person with less than 3 years of experience), and Giddy-up and DGo are two of the top players in the league. Yet, we completely fell apart, even with our coach directing us from the sideline.
The Outcome:
2x12s rolled off 9 points in a row, went ahead by 1, we scored, they responded, and we luckily got the final score on a brutally ugly last point to tie.
My question:
What do you when your team implodes for no apparent reason?
Possible Solutions:
1. Time-out: One of our captains smartly called a time out after our opponents rolled off 3 or 4 points. Our coach was very calm, explaining a possible solution to get the disc moving again, we collected our breath…and went right back into sucking like a supped-up Hoover.
2. Yelling: One of the (good or bad?) habits I picked up from a Fish elder last summer was trying to fire people up by yelling at them. Although this works on me, I don’t seem to have the touch for screaming at others. Not that I didn’t try it last night…
3. Pointing Out the Obvious: We were forcing backhand (tricky to perform when you’re accustomed to forcing flick), and we kept getting beat on the force side. Although I didn’t think of it at the time [insert slow joke here], we probably should have changed the damn force.
4. Blame Game: Particularly ineffective when accompanied by #2…trust me.
5. Encourage Team-mates: The thought crossed my mind, but I didn’t do enough to remind certain individuals that they were awesome players, and to just play their game.
Other Solutions???
This is where you come in. I’ve never been part of something like that, and would like to avert it in the future. Help?
For those who would suggest leading by example, although that might be possible for you, I’m not quite at that level yet. Thanks in advance for your suggestions. Until next time, happy hucking!
Then I get to try to put it back together
Everything falls apart,
And you can count on that like you can count on bad,
Bad weather again"
Dogs Eye View - Everything Falls Apart
It’s been a while since I wrote anything outside of predictions/recaps, but I experienced a situation that warranted a post. Plus, knowing that more talented players read these ramblings than I ever, I thought I could leverage your vast degree of ultimate knowledge.
The Situation:
The Hammers were rolling against 2x12s, up by 8 points with 20 minutes to go in the second half….when the wheels fell off. I’ll give 2x12s credit for taking advantage of our collapse, but it was OUR collapse. About half of our team has played competitive frisbee, there are lots of veterans (I’m probably the low person with less than 3 years of experience), and Giddy-up and DGo are two of the top players in the league. Yet, we completely fell apart, even with our coach directing us from the sideline.
The Outcome:
2x12s rolled off 9 points in a row, went ahead by 1, we scored, they responded, and we luckily got the final score on a brutally ugly last point to tie.
My question:
What do you when your team implodes for no apparent reason?
Possible Solutions:
1. Time-out: One of our captains smartly called a time out after our opponents rolled off 3 or 4 points. Our coach was very calm, explaining a possible solution to get the disc moving again, we collected our breath…and went right back into sucking like a supped-up Hoover.
2. Yelling: One of the (good or bad?) habits I picked up from a Fish elder last summer was trying to fire people up by yelling at them. Although this works on me, I don’t seem to have the touch for screaming at others. Not that I didn’t try it last night…
3. Pointing Out the Obvious: We were forcing backhand (tricky to perform when you’re accustomed to forcing flick), and we kept getting beat on the force side. Although I didn’t think of it at the time [insert slow joke here], we probably should have changed the damn force.
4. Blame Game: Particularly ineffective when accompanied by #2…trust me.
5. Encourage Team-mates: The thought crossed my mind, but I didn’t do enough to remind certain individuals that they were awesome players, and to just play their game.
Other Solutions???
This is where you come in. I’ve never been part of something like that, and would like to avert it in the future. Help?
For those who would suggest leading by example, although that might be possible for you, I’m not quite at that level yet. Thanks in advance for your suggestions. Until next time, happy hucking!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
A-Toad-A-So x 2!
"Nothing hurting. Nothing sore. No one suffers anymore.
The doctor's found a simple cure.
Just in time.
All these things if I were King would all appear around me.
The world will sing when I am King.
The world will sing when I am King."
Great Big Sea - When I Am King (and possibly my new theme song???)
After picking all four games correctly last week, the disc slinger saying the predicted quote, and winning enough purple candy to make my stomach ache in a side bet, I’m an even happier hucker than usual. With the last week of the regular season upon us (hip hip…), might as well see if I can continue my hot streak. Onto the quick picks.
Threezerburn over Cup
Although I said Cup would start a winning streak this week, after finding out their first round opponents in the playoffs, I’m less enthused with the prospective streak.
*Side ramble: A 1/8 playoff game…seriously? Maybe a few intra-game trades would make the contest more competitive (i.e. one happy hucker for another?).
Ocho inching out Army
In the game of the night, my money is on the strong team play of Ocho to overcome the uber-talented individuals on Army.
Corn to run over Grey
With better attendance, their primary handler coming off a huge win / domination last Friday, and IID’s most attractive CMA poised to strike, the kiddies will bounce back from last week’s setback.
Hammers to nail 2x12s
Player-for-player, I think 2x12s have the most talent in the league. Given their record, something is clearly not clicking for them. Although I’m confident that Salmon will resolve whatever ails 2x12s, it won’t happen til after this week.
Predicted Quote of the Week:
A Hammer explaining an overthrown disc:
“It was the steroids in those genetically modified strawberries last week!”
With the playoffs approaching, if you find yourself taking your game too seriously this week (or ever), I recommend you print off a copy of PMo’s latest forum post to keep you laughing. Although I don’t particularly enjoy playing against him, he’s quickly becoming my favorite frisbee humorist. Until next time, happy hucking.
The doctor's found a simple cure.
Just in time.
All these things if I were King would all appear around me.
The world will sing when I am King.
The world will sing when I am King."
Great Big Sea - When I Am King (and possibly my new theme song???)
After picking all four games correctly last week, the disc slinger saying the predicted quote, and winning enough purple candy to make my stomach ache in a side bet, I’m an even happier hucker than usual. With the last week of the regular season upon us (hip hip…), might as well see if I can continue my hot streak. Onto the quick picks.
Threezerburn over Cup
Although I said Cup would start a winning streak this week, after finding out their first round opponents in the playoffs, I’m less enthused with the prospective streak.
*Side ramble: A 1/8 playoff game…seriously? Maybe a few intra-game trades would make the contest more competitive (i.e. one happy hucker for another?).
Ocho inching out Army
In the game of the night, my money is on the strong team play of Ocho to overcome the uber-talented individuals on Army.
Corn to run over Grey
With better attendance, their primary handler coming off a huge win / domination last Friday, and IID’s most attractive CMA poised to strike, the kiddies will bounce back from last week’s setback.
Hammers to nail 2x12s
Player-for-player, I think 2x12s have the most talent in the league. Given their record, something is clearly not clicking for them. Although I’m confident that Salmon will resolve whatever ails 2x12s, it won’t happen til after this week.
Predicted Quote of the Week:
A Hammer explaining an overthrown disc:
“It was the steroids in those genetically modified strawberries last week!”
With the playoffs approaching, if you find yourself taking your game too seriously this week (or ever), I recommend you print off a copy of PMo’s latest forum post to keep you laughing. Although I don’t particularly enjoy playing against him, he’s quickly becoming my favorite frisbee humorist. Until next time, happy hucking.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Weekly F'n Recap
"F is my favorite letter as you know."
Kathleen Edwards - The Cheapest Key
After discussing with a team-mate how frequently we both drop F-bombs on the field when things go wrong (see Wednesday), I decided to go with the above quote. Here's my memories of a busy week of frisbee.
- Threw outside for the first time this year last Sunday. Although my throws were crap, it felt great to get out of the damn dome.
- Sparkles and I met with KJ on Monday to get our last plyo-heavy workout that will carry us through to tryouts. I’m pretty comfortable with all of the exercises, but still need some coaching on form (“Clench…unclench”)
- I overdid it during my own weight workout Tuesday. On the bright side, the increased bulk seemed to pay off (see below for info on my bizarre personal streak).
- As predicted, the Hammers beat an undermanned Corn squad 27-13ish on Wednesday. It was 9-9, and then, well, we really started to roll off points.
- Personal high-light, and this will sound weird, but while having a sucky game, I realized at about 15-11 that it didn’t matter. Most of my team-mates (InVinceable, Rigid, HelloJessie, DGo, Giddy-up (as always), and MamaFish) were playing “shit hot”. It’s nice to be able to take a step-back when you’re having a bad game, and let your team-mates do the heavy lifting.
- High-light #2: Winning the sidebet!
- Low-light: Bad decisions (throwing directly into the hands of Pete, getting stalled down, f-ing up a number of dumps with one team-mate, etc.). Although not quite as spectacularly awful as the first time we played Corn, the timing couldn’t have been worse with new Fish captain Nikkster roaming the sidelines.
- On a happier note, I have an amusing personal streak going of leveling opponents in 3 straight games. The latest victim of my 160 pounds of fury was Ocho-er Morthongs who I ran over on a Berkley cut. In all seriousness, being more aggressive is some excellent advice I got post-IAD-cut.
- Here’s wishing Juffy a speedy recovery from rolling his ankle. On the bright side, a sprained ankle is much less serious than a broken ass ;-)
- Was interested to read that a 5km run might be part of the Open tryouts. Although aerobic fitness is important, KJ wrote an excellent article on how distance running and ulty aren’t compliments (quite the opposite). However, if the 5km is to improve pacing for players who play every point, that makes sense…as long as the risk of injury and likely slower resulting pace on the field is taken into consideration.
- Went through 2 sets of KJ's new workout on Thursday, just to get the form and appropriate weights nailed down. Squatted 20 pounds more than my previous PB.
- Despite the presence of a super-sub who accounted for a quarter of our points, Finishing Move lost to Vince/Reade's team on Friday night by about 5 points. It felt a lot closer than 5 points to me, but my co-captain had an interesting philosophy to explain the reasoning behind the loss.
************
Deep Ulty Thought: "The amount of awesomeness you can give to ultimate in a week is capped at 10 [using the infamous TK scale]. If you use up all your awesomeness on Wednesday, you can't expect to dominate on Friday when you're all out."
************
- Personal high-light: Even though I was exhausted (very long day at work), I played well. Our opponents didn't really have anyone who could run with me.
- The exception, and low-light was one of the worst points of my indoor ultimate season. I had three drops on very catchable passes, and then fell over on defense. At least my IID coach got a kick out of me tripping over my own feet.
- Saturday went through 3 sets of the new workout, and then tossed for a half hour outside. My calfs were burnt afterwards, but on the plus side, my throwing was marginally better than the week before.
How to cap off such a busy week of frisbee? How about going to a Great Big Sea concert last night with six ulty peeps who together would form a hell of a 3/4 line. Had a blast, got some jumping in, and hope I didn't do any damage to my hands with all that clapping. Afterall, I've been told my "good hands" are my only asset ;-) Until next time, happy hucking!
Kathleen Edwards - The Cheapest Key
After discussing with a team-mate how frequently we both drop F-bombs on the field when things go wrong (see Wednesday), I decided to go with the above quote. Here's my memories of a busy week of frisbee.
- Threw outside for the first time this year last Sunday. Although my throws were crap, it felt great to get out of the damn dome.
- Sparkles and I met with KJ on Monday to get our last plyo-heavy workout that will carry us through to tryouts. I’m pretty comfortable with all of the exercises, but still need some coaching on form (“Clench…unclench”)
- I overdid it during my own weight workout Tuesday. On the bright side, the increased bulk seemed to pay off (see below for info on my bizarre personal streak).
- As predicted, the Hammers beat an undermanned Corn squad 27-13ish on Wednesday. It was 9-9, and then, well, we really started to roll off points.
- Personal high-light, and this will sound weird, but while having a sucky game, I realized at about 15-11 that it didn’t matter. Most of my team-mates (InVinceable, Rigid, HelloJessie, DGo, Giddy-up (as always), and MamaFish) were playing “shit hot”. It’s nice to be able to take a step-back when you’re having a bad game, and let your team-mates do the heavy lifting.
- High-light #2: Winning the sidebet!
- Low-light: Bad decisions (throwing directly into the hands of Pete, getting stalled down, f-ing up a number of dumps with one team-mate, etc.). Although not quite as spectacularly awful as the first time we played Corn, the timing couldn’t have been worse with new Fish captain Nikkster roaming the sidelines.
- On a happier note, I have an amusing personal streak going of leveling opponents in 3 straight games. The latest victim of my 160 pounds of fury was Ocho-er Morthongs who I ran over on a Berkley cut. In all seriousness, being more aggressive is some excellent advice I got post-IAD-cut.
- Here’s wishing Juffy a speedy recovery from rolling his ankle. On the bright side, a sprained ankle is much less serious than a broken ass ;-)
- Was interested to read that a 5km run might be part of the Open tryouts. Although aerobic fitness is important, KJ wrote an excellent article on how distance running and ulty aren’t compliments (quite the opposite). However, if the 5km is to improve pacing for players who play every point, that makes sense…as long as the risk of injury and likely slower resulting pace on the field is taken into consideration.
- Went through 2 sets of KJ's new workout on Thursday, just to get the form and appropriate weights nailed down. Squatted 20 pounds more than my previous PB.
- Despite the presence of a super-sub who accounted for a quarter of our points, Finishing Move lost to Vince/Reade's team on Friday night by about 5 points. It felt a lot closer than 5 points to me, but my co-captain had an interesting philosophy to explain the reasoning behind the loss.
************
Deep Ulty Thought: "The amount of awesomeness you can give to ultimate in a week is capped at 10 [using the infamous TK scale]. If you use up all your awesomeness on Wednesday, you can't expect to dominate on Friday when you're all out."
************
- Personal high-light: Even though I was exhausted (very long day at work), I played well. Our opponents didn't really have anyone who could run with me.
- The exception, and low-light was one of the worst points of my indoor ultimate season. I had three drops on very catchable passes, and then fell over on defense. At least my IID coach got a kick out of me tripping over my own feet.
- Saturday went through 3 sets of the new workout, and then tossed for a half hour outside. My calfs were burnt afterwards, but on the plus side, my throwing was marginally better than the week before.
How to cap off such a busy week of frisbee? How about going to a Great Big Sea concert last night with six ulty peeps who together would form a hell of a 3/4 line. Had a blast, got some jumping in, and hope I didn't do any damage to my hands with all that clapping. Afterall, I've been told my "good hands" are my only asset ;-) Until next time, happy hucking!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
March 18th Picks
“I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him."
- Mark Twain
With a perfect week of picking behind me, it’s time to get back to what I do best – screwing up. Although no monumental blunders are anticipated, given my history, I wouldn’t bet against them...*thinking of other influential people to call "tools"*.
Hammers over Corn
This is shaping up as a battle of the league’s two top handlers. In one corner, the pride of Peterborough will be slinging discs to lucky team-mates who he transforms into all-starved cutters. In the other corner, DGo will throw fire to red-hot receivers all game long. The difference will be a top secret Hammers super-sub, who has GUARANTEED me at least 3 different scoring celebrations.
Ocho in a nail-biter against Cup
In their last two games, Cup looks like a vastly improved team (in no small part due to one disc-duffer who has made a strong case for a recall). However, my prediction is that Cup goes on a winning streak that starts next week, instead of against the well-coached Ocho. To the cuppers and cuppies who read this, I truly hope you prove me wrong and start your streak against Ocho.
Army in a cake walk over 2x12s.
Even with their standout player / “good driver” slowed by groin issues (my advice: stop pulling it), Army’s on a roll lately. On the other hand, despite a multitude of talent, 2x12s can’t seem to break out of their current slump. Army should win this one convincingly, especially if their pretty-picture-taking hucker hooks up with the Shocker.
Threezerburn to outlast Grey
As much as I respect Grey and their awesome coaches, Threezerburn has a more exciting style of play. As a defender, and even a spectator, the Threezies have proved their good nature by throwing their patented break-side skubers at my request. The only reason I hesitate to choose the Theeze to win in a blow-out, is that there’s a junior player on Grey who will undoubtedly distract she-who-mustn’t-be-thrown-to.
Predicted Quote of the Week:
During Hammers/Corn match by the disc-slinger after one of his many assists:
“That’s why they call me Pistol!”
(while blowing imaginary gun smoke off his fingers)
If I seem more focused than usual tomorrow, it's because I have an important side-bet to win...not to worry though, I won't be point-shaving (sorry Andrew). Until next time, happy hucking!
- Mark Twain
With a perfect week of picking behind me, it’s time to get back to what I do best – screwing up. Although no monumental blunders are anticipated, given my history, I wouldn’t bet against them...*thinking of other influential people to call "tools"*.
Hammers over Corn
This is shaping up as a battle of the league’s two top handlers. In one corner, the pride of Peterborough will be slinging discs to lucky team-mates who he transforms into all-starved cutters. In the other corner, DGo will throw fire to red-hot receivers all game long. The difference will be a top secret Hammers super-sub, who has GUARANTEED me at least 3 different scoring celebrations.
Ocho in a nail-biter against Cup
In their last two games, Cup looks like a vastly improved team (in no small part due to one disc-duffer who has made a strong case for a recall). However, my prediction is that Cup goes on a winning streak that starts next week, instead of against the well-coached Ocho. To the cuppers and cuppies who read this, I truly hope you prove me wrong and start your streak against Ocho.
Army in a cake walk over 2x12s.
Even with their standout player / “good driver” slowed by groin issues (my advice: stop pulling it), Army’s on a roll lately. On the other hand, despite a multitude of talent, 2x12s can’t seem to break out of their current slump. Army should win this one convincingly, especially if their pretty-picture-taking hucker hooks up with the Shocker.
Threezerburn to outlast Grey
As much as I respect Grey and their awesome coaches, Threezerburn has a more exciting style of play. As a defender, and even a spectator, the Threezies have proved their good nature by throwing their patented break-side skubers at my request. The only reason I hesitate to choose the Theeze to win in a blow-out, is that there’s a junior player on Grey who will undoubtedly distract she-who-mustn’t-be-thrown-to.
Predicted Quote of the Week:
During Hammers/Corn match by the disc-slinger after one of his many assists:
“That’s why they call me Pistol!”
(while blowing imaginary gun smoke off his fingers)
If I seem more focused than usual tomorrow, it's because I have an important side-bet to win...not to worry though, I won't be point-shaving (sorry Andrew). Until next time, happy hucking!
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