Eat Your Heart Out Kenny

The song parody competition continues between me and my fellow Friday co-captain (with an intriguing blog that examines the spiritual connection between stars and discs). Although some of our best work has not been posted, I feel confident saying that many of my readers will enjoy this latest ditty. I might not have a chain of successful chicken restaurants, but Kenny doesn't have my long forehand hucks ;-)

The Handler

On a warm tourny evenin, on a field in the middle of nowhere
I met up with a handler, we were both too pumped to sleep.
So we took turns a huckin, discs into the darkness
Til we ran out frisbees, and then he began to speak

He said, "yo, I’ve made my career, out of readin mark’s faces,
And knowin their strategy, by the way they squint their eyes.
So if you don’t mind my sayin, your throws go weird places
For a taste of your Gatorade, I’ll give you some advice."

So I handed him my bottle, he backwashed and didn’t swallow
Then he bummed my last Powerbar, and checked it wasn’t “light”
And the night got deathly quiet, as he stroked his handle bar mustache
He said, "if you’re gonna play this game, rookie, ya gotta learn to play it right."

"You gotta know when to dump em, know when to huck em
Know when to shuffle on D, know when to “run”
You never look off your receivers, unless they’re screwing up your stats
There’ll be time enough to apologize, when the game is won."

"Now every handler knows, the secret to thriving
Is knowin who to throw to, and knowin which discs to keep
Cause receivers are a dime a dozen, and handlers are skilled players
And the best that you can hope for is that all your strikers cut deep."

So when he’d finished preaching, he burped and farted loudly
Stripped down to his Speedo, and snored off to sleep
And somewhere in the darkness, the handler broke his mark,
But in his final words I found some pearls I could keep.

"You gotta know when to dump em, know when to huck em
Know when to shuffle on D, know when to “run”
You never look off your receivers, unless they’re screwing up your stats
There’ll be time enough to apologize, when the game is won."

If you'd rather not see any more songs in the blog, well, I wouldn't blame you ;-) Just let me know. Having said that, I'm guessing my brother will enjoy this latest entry since he performs a mean version of The Gambler (which is my personal favorite).

On that note, I'm off to bed and will dream about huge skies and lengthy hucks tomorrow in my first IID game of the season. To say I'm pumped would be an understatement. For what it's worth, it's 95% excitement, and only 5% nervousness about playing with Rigid. As mentioned, unlike last year, there's not a player in the league who scares me this year, and I'm really looking forward to my super awesome team. Oh, and before I forget, after quickly checking my Friday team, our roster appears to have filled out, and we just got much, much better (at least for the first 3 weeks of evaluations). Until next time, happy hucking!