Ultimate Predictions for 2009

"But I grew up, wishing on a star
You think I won't ever get too far."
Yellowcard - Star Struck

Admittedly, I have a fondness for making predictions. With a new year upon us, what better time to prognosticate how the Ottawa ultimate scene will unfold in 2009?

1. Finishing Move to Win Friday Night League: After employing a cunning strategy of tanking the first quarter of the year so as to avoid being demolished by the Devlish Coordinator, Finishing Move will go on an unheard of 15 game winning streak to claim the league crown.

2. Random IID Team Votes Off Weakest Link: Ignoring repeated calls to "Stop your happy hucking ways!" results in a certain lanky player being voted off his IID league mid-season. Said player doesn't seem to care and uses the extra time to fulfill his dream job of "Purple Coordinator" for his Friday night team.

3. Hammers Win IID: With their former greatest liability focused on cladding his Friday team in purple for one game, the Hammers win the IID crown led by their dynamic duo of DGo and Giddy-up.

(Onto the more serious predictions)

4. Purple Lover makes BigFish roster: Ever since I got cut last year, my goal has been to make the tournament roster on BigFish in 2009. The hard work will pay off.

5. RPAlex and Mr. Twopointer make Firebird: After playing with and against the two recently, it's definitely not a stretch.

6. Poached Motel climbs to Tier 2: A little birdie told me that we're picking up two strong women, and losing a weaker one. ChowareyouSTILLonlya4inLeagueWonder and I are both really looking forward to playing our way up the Monday night standings on this team.

7. Sprawl Fall: Although I enjoyed the post-game bevies last summer, Friday nights just weren't as fun as they use to be for me. Maybe it's time to try coaching/captaining some beginners….or just taking Fridays off?

8. BigFish to make nationals: With a season of rebuilding behind them, BigFish will swim all the way to the city of lakes next summer. Even though this might sound like a ballsy prediction, rest assured that the BF have no trouble showing their balls.

9. At Nationals
Stella repeats: After playing with Mercier, I can't see how any team could possibly contain her defensively.
BFC doesn't suck: Not quite ready to challenge TFP again, but look for BFC to bounce back next year at nationals led by their strong women….including one who tests positive for excess amounts of gelato.
Phoenix wins (?) third: After ousting their coach via an apparent coup last summer (Politics in Ottawa ultimate? Say it ain't so!), look for the Franchise to lead Phoenix to a 3rd place finish (losing in the semis to eventual champion Furious).

10. GLUM to win UPA fall series Masters title: Led by GLUM Ford, the old foggies from Canada will beat DOG from Bean-town in the finals.

(Onto the less serious predictions)

11. Fart Factory Wins Falltimate Title: Fueled by natural gas, the brown shirted team will claim the title of whatever night of the week they play on.

12. IID / IAD contract to four teams each: With the level of play at an all time low in IID, and the elderly handlers in IAD needing to get to bed by 9pm at the latest, the great Kamasutra and the Rascally Reza contract the number of teams in half in 2009/2010. Reza has a hard time picking 31 of his best buddies to stock the league with.

Surprised? Shocked? Astonished? Just wait until the predictions start coming true. Remember, you read them here first ;-) Until next time, happy hucking!